The more I learn about bipolar, it becomes clearer and clearer to me that I’ve been dealing with this my whole life. It’s been talked down, pushed to the back, the reason for three suicide attempts, and the cause of a deep nearly fatal chasm in my marriage.
Since the diagnosis and dive into medicine, my mind has opened up and it’s been hard. The push into meds has caused me to stop fighting back against these ups and downs, and instead face them. It’s led to many many nearly sleepless nights, doing 500 piece puzzles like the one above in two hours, or staying up and reading until the sun peaked across the horizon.
The picture above is indicative of so much going on in my life right now. The roller coaster part is obvious, but more than that it’s the puzzle pieces. I don’t fully know who I am right now – the damn medicine has seen to that. More than just the medicine though, pulling back the curtain on my mind has caused me to evaluate and think about things I had previously taken for granted. My mind is a puzzle that has just been messed up by a mischievous three year old and needs to be put back together. That’s what this is all about.