If you don’t have anything nice to say … 

Then shut it.  

Seriously, I’ve worn myself out the last 72 hours with all the sadness and negativity and down energy in my posts.   If you’re reading this, or have been, I’m really sorry.   I’m going through a crappy time, mentally, physically, and in every other way, but enough is enough.  I need to find a way to inject a little bit of positivity into each day/each post or I will speed up my slowly moving mania.  So here goes, Sunday night at 11:45 PM …. drumroll please:

My five favorite movie roles of all time:

  1. George C Scott, Patton
  2. Damien Lewis, Band of Brothers
  3. Tom Hanks,  Saving Private Ryan
  4. Ian McKellan, The Lord of the Rings
  5. Sam Neill, Jurassic Park 1 and 3

Seriously.   I’ve got to find way to bring in some random acts of happiness.  This disease is all consuming.  I saw a commercial for bipolar medication tonight as I watched TV and just cried the entire 90 seconds it was on. 

My life, as I knew it, is over.   I have to relearn things that have long since been taken for granted, and as a cranky 31 year old, that idea sucks.  

I’ve been told that it’s this six-weeks to eight-weeks into the medicine period that sees most people come off medications.  I don think I can do that.  Chopping the arm to save the leg aside – what is the alternative?   Would I die?   Would I end my life without the meds?   The damn mood stabilizers have certainly done that, and I wonder how it’d feel without them in my brain.   

I’m lost, and alone, in a room full of people on the busiest street in the neighborhood.  Damn.  


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