- For the meds to kick in and for the love of it all, equalize.
- For my brain to stop feeling like it’s on fire all day every day.
- For the insecurities that this process has drawn out in me for completely unreasonable reasons to fade away.
- For my perception of me to become clear again.
- For the fog in my brain, that affects my vision, my mind, and my heart to lift.
- And finally, for the several business decisions I’m waiting on this week to hurry up and come down. I’m a generous soul, I’ll even take just 51% of them falling in my favor.
I’m grasping at straws, but I need something to make the pendulum move back in the upwards direction. Before diagnosis and meds and starting therapy, I would have just called this a funk. Now that I’m aware of what’s going on in my heart and mind I can’t just push it under the rug that way.
I crave the high. I need the high. I miss my mania.