The other support group.  

I have run probably more than 3,000 miles in the last ten years.  

I.  Love.  Running.  

It has been my escape for so long.  I’ve been running distances since 2003 – 14 of my 31 years.   It’s been the hook to pull me out of the depressive part of manic depressive.  It’s been what kept me Manic, sure.  It has been the way for me to find my thoughts and to be clear and concise and direct in decisions that need to be made.  

I.  Love.  Running.  

Bipolar took that away from me for awhile.  When the meds were first forced – forced? – upon me I found very quickly that the mental clarity and escape from my world was no longer there for me as I ran.  It was a crushing blow, and one that still is hard to think about.  I withdrew further inward and I would absolutely attribute some where I was mentally to not being able to run.   I didn’t want to run and that meant I didn’t want to be me anymore.  

But, I found hope while inside the treatment facility.  When the doc in there switched me to an anti depressant and I have felt like I could run again.  I have felt somewhat like my old self in that I want to run.  So I found a bangin’ sale on a new pair of shoes at Kohls last week and went out today for the first time.  I didn’t set the pavement on fire or anything.  I actually only ran parking lot sprints, but I ran.  I ran for more than 30 minutes and it felt great.  Running the Boston Marathon tomorrow?   Perhaps no, but I can run again.  That part of my life is back, and I can incorporate it back into who I am.   To even have the option means the world to me.   It was such a difference maker in my day, and I’m still happy about it 10 hours later.  

I am bipolar, but I can run, and run damn far.  Manic depression will not hold me back. 


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