Tuesday, Tuesday …

I think the Mamas and the Papas had it all wrong and should have written about Tuesdays.  There’s definitely a hangover feeling from Monday and all that goes on there – and you get next to no help getting through it.  Hump Day is tomorrow, and you’re really closer to the past weekend than you are to the next one.  Someone I follow as a career mentor though always says something that has really helped me to feel better about the days and weeks.

“If you’re living for Friday night, and you hate Monday morning – your stuff is broken.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

I believe that has so many applications: parenting, living day to day with a mental illness and surviving, also succeeding in life and business with these same limitations.  We don’t get weekends or reprieve as people who have survived suicide, or who live with mental illness.  As a parent there is never really time off, but when you throw in mental illness it really takes the idea of no weekends to a next level.  The parenting thing goes back to something I said a few posts back:  sometimes you’re the best parent for your kids when you are down on the ground with them embracing the mess and the craziness and just loving them.  It is so important for my kids to love me, and for them to understand that I’ll run through brick walls for them, and that I’ll love them with all I’ve go.  I hope that my realities or the meds or anything else never ever clouds that up for them.

There’s another new-ish song out there called “Human,” that speaks to the element of us being only human:

This guys speaks truth about survival and responsibility in so many ways with his powerful silky lyrics.

And in my own completely unorganized way, let’s go down this road for a few minutes.  I want to put my manifesto out there as someone who has survived:

  • I believe in God, and in His plan for me.  As some one who suffers from manic depressive illness (I still hate the term bipolar), that is my cross to bear in this life.
  • I have attempted to take my own life three times in 31 years, all in large part due to how I was interacting with mental illness whether it be body dismorphia, or manic depression.
  •  My surival has always been tied in to the innate desire to prove people and preconceptions wrong.
  • Though they were dangerous and scary and could have been catastrophic, I learned much from my attempts.
  • I need my family in my life to survive.  God created us in families, and I need mine to survive.
  • I feel a pull to advocate for mental health awareness like never before.  I’m doing it here on this site, and looking for others.

I’m only human.  But I’m here.



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