Whether or not you’re having fun, so there’s wisdom in enjoying it. There’s a lot of excuses to not have written for eight days – I’m busy, I’m transitioning to a new job, I’m blah blah blah-ing. Long story short, it’s been a long seven and a half days – I miss writing here. Self expression is without a doubt high on my list of self care. I’d like to think that it ties in to me writing my own story with this whole experience.
I’ve read several books at this point about manic depression, and they all seem to carry common threads: years of misdiagnosis, or years of undiagnosed living; frustrations at an inability to express all the feelings and emotions we know come with bpd; and a burning hatred of medicine, along with the side effects it brings. I’m right there with all of that.
Where I feel like I diverge from that narrative a little bit at least is my desire to share and advocate for mental health awareness. I’m only six months into this adventure, but I struggle with not shouting from the rooftops that I have suffer from Manic Depressive and that I am fighting this thing. Punch for punch, I’m right there with it, and not going down easy. I’m street fighting this thing like it’s Mortal Kombat from the 90’s.
It’s my opinion that we all need to widen the net and share the load that mental health brings. Whether it’s through forums like this (I appreciate any and all of you who read this and especially those who have been reading since February), or going to a therapist, or support group, or Facebook pages, or whatever the hell works for you, do it. The reason that I work so hard – the last eight days notwithstanding – on writing here. I’m humbled that anyone follows my blog, and I hope that those of you who read regularly get something good and helpful from each entry.
Like I said at the top – time flies. We are all (those with mental health challenges or not) obligated to do our very best to make the most of our time on this earth. For me, my time on earth finally makes sense. When the psychiatrist looked at me on February 17 2017 and said, “Well Will, you’ve got Bipolar 1,” that clarified what would be the rest of my life. I finally knew why. The clarity has caused a lot of things to become better in my life.
I am a believer in things happening exactly how they should – it’s just in my nature, and it’s been part of who I am as a result of my faith as well. My diagnosis happened at 31, and not 21 for a reason. My appetite for sharing and advocacy is much stronger now.
I am writing my own story as someone fighting manic depressive illness. I will win.